Am I the only one this has happened to?
- No!
Parents whose children or teenagers go missing most commonly feel
helpless and alone. Hopefully, the information contained on this
site will encourage you to feel there are things you CAN do to
help find the missing person and stop them from running away again.
It’s also worth knowing that you are NOT alone. ASTRA has already
helped over 100 families in Gloucestershire over the past year whose
child or young person has gone missing. Some of the parents we have
had contact with kindly agreed to share their experiences with us, and
with you.
Running away - Parent A's perspective
What did you do
when the young person went missing?
I rang the police – I
had had a drink or I would have gone out to find her in my car!
What was the
experience like for you/what went through you mind?
She may be
older/bigger for her age but if he was determined to get her then…'
What advice were
you given and by whom? Was it useful?
The policeman said, "She will not be far away!
– who is her ‘friend’ around here?” That is where we found her.
What would have been useful to know earlier?
Where she was going! In her pyjamas!
What do you think the dangers are for young
people who run away?
Con men/women tricking her by doing something!
What have you
learned from the experience?
Be more calm. Listen.
Can you explain
why and how things are better now? If they have not improved, what
additional support do you feel you and/or the young person needs?
Not improved. She needs someone to go to visit,
outside of the house. Somewhere to go.
What do you think
would improve things for parents/carers? And for young people?
It starts at about 11 years old, give her
responsibility, trust.
Running away - Parent B's perspective
What did you do
when the young person went missing?
Went looking for her, phoned her friends and
eventually contacted the police.
What was the
experience like for you/what went through your mind?
Devastation, turmoil. Was she ok? Where was
she?
What advice were
you given and by whom? Was it useful?
Not to panic (by the
police). Phone all her friends.
What support (if
any) were you given and by whom? Was it useful?
The only support at the time was by the police
- not to panic or worry!
What would have
been useful to know earlier?
Where she had gone and why!
What do you think
the dangers are for young people who run away?
People out there who cannot be trusted with children.
What have you
learned from the experience?
To talk more with each other (better
communication).
Can you explain why and how things are
better now? If they have not improved, what additional support do you
feel you and/or the young person needs?
Things are better now because we have all
talked about what happened and what was going through her mind. Also,
the help she and us have received from ASTRA.
What advice would you give to other
parents/carers in similar situations?
Talk more to their siblings to avoid the
situation that we went through. Not be too tough
on them but show some lines of discipline (for their own safety).
What do you think would improve things for
parents/carers? And for young people?
More counsellors at school (independent).
How has ASTRA helped you? The young person?
Are there any improvements you feel we could make to the service we
offer?
110% us. 110% daughter. Just keep on what you
are doing. You have all been a great, influential help. Many thanks
from us all.
Running away - Parent C's perspective
What did you do
when the young person went missing?
Phoned around all her friends. Family went out
looking for her. Phoned police.
What was the
experience like for you/what went through your mind?
The worry and stress is tremendous. You ask
yourself is she all right?! Where is she?! Who with?! Why?! What made
them go away, what did we do wrong?!
What advice were
you given and by whom? Was it useful?
The Police advised us to get in touch with
Social Services but they weren't able to help because of the
circumstances.
What support (if
any) were you given and by whom? Was it useful?
Teens in Crisis. We all had some counselling. Yes, it helped
us to try and understand things a little more.
What would have
been useful to know earlier?
If we had known about ASTRA and had met Rachel
and Hattie before.
What do you think
the dangers are for young people who run away?
Getting in with the wrong kind of people –
drugs, sleeping rough, getting hurt.
What have you
learned from the experience?
We are still in the learning experience, it is
very hard to trust them.
Can you explain why and how things are
better now? If they have not improved, what additional support do you
feel you and/or the young person needs?
Since being with ASTRA we all seem more content
with one another. We talk more. She still needs to open up more and by
talking to a worker we hope she will do this.
What advice would
you give to other parents/carers in similar situations?
Phone ASTRA.
What do you think
would improve things for parents/carers? And for young people?
To get more help from Social Services and have
more places set up like ASTRA.
How has ASTRA helped you? The young people?
Are there any improvements you feel we could make to the service we
offer?
By showing that they care and that they do not
only help the young person, they are also there to help you.
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